Consumption Diaries No. 4
A January consumed
Our first consumption diary of 2023! After a really hard December, I’ve been trying to practice more mindfulness, as cheesy and stupid as it feels to say that out loud. I’m trying to allow myself to be earnest and cringe, even on the internet, in a way that feels viscerally uncomfortable and kinda silly, but who cares! The world is burning, a recession is looming, politicians are ruining our lives, my brain chemistry is out to get me, and I could die at any moment! I’m trying to feel joy however I can, privately or publicly.
And you know what? The earnestness is working (at least for me, maybe everyone hates me). I’ve actually been sticking to goals — dry January, a planned TBR (!), drinking more water — even though I’m not sure what the end goal of all the goals is. One goal to rule them all, if you will. I’m not naive enough to think I’ll suddenly find happiness just because I let myself be stupid on the internet or make a smoothie for breakfast sometimes.
So here’s what I consumed in January to try to ~feel something~, success rate undetermined.
What I read
I know we all joke about buying more books than we can ever read and how silly it is, but honestly, I don’t think it’s that silly unless you’re buying more than you afford or it’s making you feel bad. It is making me feel bad, so I’m making a concerted effort to read the books I already own by giving myself fun lil prompts to follow. I also tried this last year and failed miserably, but I did it this month and then some!
Aesthetica by Allie Rowbottom — I dedicated a whole insta post to what this book made me think about in regards to my relationship with my own online presence and desire to be, well, desired. I couldn’t give you a real review if I tried, but I did like the book. It did for me what I’d hoped the other internet novels would, and maybe that’s because it’s not an internet novel in the same sense. This probably deserves a whole substack devoted to it — maybe after the Botox I just got settles in 😀 (also, Allie Rowbottom’s Glamour interview if you’re curious about what she self reports)
Housekeeping by Marilynne Robinson — took me by complete surprise, though now I’m not surprised at all that Robinson won a Pulitzer for Gilead. Truly skillful writing, a quiet slow burn, an eerie landscape complete with a lake that’s a whole character itself. I hadn’t known Robinson wrote so frequently about religion in her work before I picked this up, and I’m glad I didn’t; it’s a topic I usually stay away from, having been burned 5,000 too many times growing up not-religious in the South, but Housekeeping’s religious reflections are really well done and thoughtfully.
My Last Innocent Year by Daisy Alpert Florin — gripping, as they say, but the themes themselves didn’t wow me. If you’re going to do the professor-student affair trope at this point, I expect something really unique! This wasn’t groundbreaking, but it was spot-on, I think there is an exact audience who will love it. I read this through NetGalley and my longer goodreads review is here. It publishes on Feb. 14.
Somebody’s Daughter by Ashley C. Ford — whew. Heavy! This memoir format honestly isn’t my favorite — a diary-like timeline of events that starts in very early childhood and ends before there’s been a reflective thread woven in — but I so appreciated the author sharing it and I’m glad it exists.
The New Me by Halle Butler — I just love to know that the terrible chaotic white woman of this genre isn’t only reserved for the 20-somethings. You can be 30 and insufferably messy too!
Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado — after In the Dream House, Machado quickly became a favorite. And while her memoir still reigns supreme for me, this short story collection has everything I love about short stories, meaning it’s weird and femme and a little gross. I’m so late to the party (Parties) on this one, but it got a solid four stars from me.
The Strategist article “My Week With a No-Needles Lip Filler” — why did I read this twice? This fake lip filler is definitely a product I could be convinced to buy because I’m a gullible, shallow idiot, but this kind of mentally unwell, self-deprecating cringe humor truly works best on the internet. Something about it I love! Even when I hate it!
This bad-take LitHub piece published last week, “Against Copyediting: Is It Time to Abolish the Department of Corrections?”, compared copy editing to white supremacy and copy editors to cops yielding brute force, so I took that really well! I definitely didn’t rant about it in three places on the internet! But in all seriousness, I understand there are some crotchety pedantic copy editors out there who cling to “correct” grammar like a life raft after a shipwreck, but they’re not the good guys, nor are they the norm. A good copy editor advocates for both the writer’s voice and the reader’s comprehension by working with, not against, language that is constantly evolving. If you’re blaming copy editors for the publishing industry’s or journalism’s systemic problems, your anger is misdirected. That’s all!
What I watched
New Top Gun — I was entertained, so hey.
The Menu — one of those “what the fuck did I just watch” movies. Fairly predictable despite some obvious grabs at shock value, but you know what, not every movie has to be deep or provoking to be enjoyable. My fav review on letterboxd:
RuPaul’s Drag Race is back! So far it’s rough coming off an all stars All Stars season, but I remain optimistic.
M3gan (also known as Em Three Gan, thanks Who Weekly) — omg omg the number of people I have screamed at to watch this. If you don’t like horror because you don’t like being scared, this will not give you nightmares because it is so over-the-top and campy. My bestie and I were in the movie theater CRYING laughing so hard, and I mean that in the very best way. No notes, already looking forward to the sequel (and the SNL skits it’ll spawn).
The Austin Butler interview where he says Elvis is part of his DNA has taken up way too much brain space this month, but his ex Vanessa Hudgens, the only reason he is not only famous but played this role, had the only reaction that matters.
Another celeb moment taking up too much brain space is THAT Andrew Garfield red carpet interview at the Golden Globes. Why did this have the girlies in such a chokehold? I’m here to bring it back because the chemistry is something every rom-com author (except you Emily Henry) needs to take note of !!
Glass Onion: the first Knives Out was better in that way that just can’t be replicated, though Glass Onion wasn’t disappointing. Plus, I like to think of every Edward Norton role as an extension of his Fight Club character, and this one actually worked (explosion included).
Vengeance — calling it now, we’re about to enter an Ashton Kutcher era! Maybe not a BJ Novak era, though …
After Sun — a movie I thought was trying too hard to be different until I found myself crying. It brought up some sensory 90s memories I forgot I had, which was perfect for my nostalgic ass, but also: I THINK IT’S NICE WE SHARE THE SAME SKY.
Started Derry Girls at the recommendations of trustworthy friends, and I’m sorry to everyone I said yeah yeah yeah to when they told me to watch this over the last few years.
Started a Veep rewatch — the most cringe humor, in the same vein of The Office where you question whether this show would get made today, but idk, this is still very very funny and very very DC (get me out of here).
What I bought
This is the part where I talk at you like I’m an annoying influencer, but despite my best efforts, I simply love stuff! I also comfort-buy as a coping mechanism when I’m stressed, meaning that the aforementioned hard December resulted in some large impulse purchases. I, like many of us, have unconsciously adopted the mindset that I am one purchase away from true happiness, if only I could make it the right one. I need to chill.
So, this section of the newsletter will be used, for the foreseeable future, to hold myself accountable (in the spirit of Claire of clairefromonline’s financial transparency) and stop spending so much money — I don’t make a lot of it and I live in a high-cost city, sure, but if I’m honest with myself I also feel entitled for absolutely no reason at all to buy what I want when I want it. I don’t know where the audacity came from. I know it’s awkward to talk about money, especially on the internet, but if letting y’all shame me for spending money on all this shit helps lessen my entitlement, so be it!
AirPods Max lmao — listing these first because they’re my biggest shame. Like, they’re so expensive. I already own AirPods Pro! I have a tiny head and I wish I could make them shorter! The mic isn’t great and I sound like I’m underwater if I make a call or send a voice note! However, they are quality headphones sound-wise and noise-cancelation-wise, so I think for those for whom the price point isn’t staggering, or people like me who will buy anything Apple tells them to, they’re great. (I got them in green)
Ouai detox shampoo — I’ve always thought detox shampoos were kind of a racket. You mean to tell me my shampoo isn’t shampoo-y enough? But then my hair started to not feel as clean as it should be in a way I can’t explain, and it was taking forever to dry. Enter the Ouai detox shampoo, which I’ve been using once a week followed by a hair mask (I’m using the Dae one right now). I was shocked! I’m still shocked!
Beast blender — this fucking influencer blender that thinks it’s going to change your entire life. And you know what, I love it! I think the first time I saw this was maybe in 2021 when my favorite fitness influencer had this blender in the back of a video and I immediately paused to try to figure out what it was. I’ve spent a long time lusting over this blender, and I finally bought it during a New Year’s sale. I don’t regret it. It’s no Vitamix, sure, but I don’t need Vitamix quality, and honestly, this Beast blender with its lil smart sensor motor thing blends so well and quietly.
OK, thanks for indulging me! This is certainly not an exhaustive list, and I’ve realized that those small purchases add up so quickly that you’re basically buying the equivalent of AirPods Max in dumb shit throughout the month, but this is already too much oversharing so you don’t need every single detail. Not one of you asked!
Most of you are here for books, so I apologize that this is hardly books! if you made it to the bottom and that’s what you’re here for: my goodreads | my storygraph | my instagram
Happy February!
all about ninja blenders imo