consumption diaries #28: everything I read in april

and otherwise consumed

Spring is a lovely season that doesn’t get enough love because it’s so short. March is half winter and May is nearly all summer, at least where I live, but April is true, beautiful spring. The temperature rises, the cherry blossoms come and go, patio umbrellas open, the city comes back to life.

In my advanced age, I’ve had to reluctantly admit that I am not fully an introvert as I’ve told myself my whole life, and I actually love being around people. Even though I socialize just as often during the winter (sorry to be annoying, but this is how you beat seasonal affective disorder), suddenly leaving the house feels exciting again. Making plans feels easy again. Spring is simply hopeful, and despite the horrors, of which there are too many to name, I am trying to be hopeful too.

This month's happy list, which I always keep in my notes app but don't always share here:

• pink cherry blossom petals scattered on every sidewalk

• constant birdsong

• getting caught in the rain, sometimes

• sitting at a table with friends, looking at them quietly and feeling immense luck and joy

• the plane touching down

• swishy, wide leg pants

• warm sunlight on your face when it's chilly

• strangers chatting about nothing and everything

• sunrises over mountains

• the weight of a book

• friends talking loudly in a noisy bar, everyone a little drunk, everyone a little giggly

• someone reading and loving a book you recommended

• baseball hats

• going to the bookstore to purchase a new release the day it comes out

• stray cats weaving around your ankles

• a good mascara

• watching the people you love love each other

what I read

Stag Dance: A Novel & Stories by Torrey Peters

Torrey Peters, who wrote one of my 2021 favs, Detransition, Baby, is back with a collection of short stories + a short novel in between.

I have been known to struggle with a short story collection, and I'm happy to report that the solution seems to be a novella in the middle of the short stories. Or maybe the solution is just Torrey Peters. I didn't necessarily love this book, but I did understand it, mostly, so I guess that's progress.

I wished the structure were a bit different for pacing purposes — after finishing what is essentially a full novel, a small short story can easily feel overshadowed. It's not helpful to say what I wish a book had done, but: I wanted to read more of the short stories because I was so invested, and I struggled a bit during the novel. I kept getting tripped up by the old-timey lumberjack slang (?), almost as if I were reading classic literature, but assuming that was exactly the vibe Peters was going for, I concede that it's extremely creative.

I can tell that the substance is there even if it didn't click with me 100% of the time, and you know what, that’s great — one of the reason I love Peters so much is that she isn’t writing stories that are meant to be palatable for a cisgendered audience. She is not holding my hand. And she shouldn’t!

(I had a NetGalley copy of this, but huge thank you to my angel

Margaux

for sending me a physical ARC so I could half–galley brag)

On the Calculation of Volume I and On the Calculation of Volume II by Solvej Balle (trans. Barbara J. Haveland)

I can't stop recommending these books. They're massively popular right now, at least in my online spheres, and it's for good reason.

They are the first two in a seven-part series, the next two of which the English translation is set to be published in the fall (delightfully, on November 18), at least in the US. I hear that they might be published one at a time in the UK and elsewhere, so sorry.

In each, we follow Tara, who is stuck in a day that is always November 18, documenting each repeat of the day in diary-like form. We’re introduced to her on her 122nd November 18, and we stay with her as she sews together scraps of an existence, quickly proving that it is impossible to form a full life without the passage of time. She makes keen observations about the world around her, about herself, about humanity, about time. In true literary fiction form, nothing much happens, but it’s compelling from start to finish.

It's hard to say much without spoiling the plot developments, particularly in the second book once you've settled into the story a bit. What I can say, though, is that we should all be feeling a little more appreciation/awe/terror about time. Recently, someone at a party asked me what the best book I’ve read this year is, and this one came to mind first. She said, “that sounds boring,” which is honestly a ringing endorsement for lit fic fans.

I also said a little more (or maybe a little less but with more words) on Instagram:

stephgetslit

A post shared by @stephgetslit

Not a River by Selva Almada (trans. Annie McDermott)

I read this with a pal who I always read South American literature with, and we both really enjoyed it.

Though it’s quite a short novel, it’s plot-forward, taking place over the course of one day and night along a river in rural Argentina. Two men and their friend’s teenage son catch a stingray while fishing and let it rot, which a group of locals finds disrespectful. Further highlighting the tension between the visitors and locals are two teenage sisters who invite the three men out dancing, but the night with the girls does not go as expected.

I really respect a book that can make you feel so uneasy in so few pages. Almada does this partly by subtly playing with timelines and sparse prose, both shifting your perception of reality and grounding you in it. You feel an undercurrent of violence, and you must keep pushing toward it.

Girlfriend on Mars by Deborah Willis

Girlfriend on Mars is theoretically up my alley: It’s about an annoying woman (check) who enters a reality TV competition (check) that will land her on Mars if she wins (double check). There's plenty of room for satirical commentary on capitalism and consumerism here, plus the obvious critique of both reality TV's exploitative nature and the truth of our existence in the always-online era.

But all of that did not work for me, for most of the book. It really wants to be saying something but seemed unsteady in what exactly that message should be, aiming for self-aware satire and occasionally landing at surprisingly earnest seriousness instead, though there’s only so earnest you can be with the world’s most insufferable cast of characters.

For a novel that is self-aware enough to comment on capitalism, climate change, billionaire-led space travel, etc. — and it's clear that the author cares deeply about the future of the planet — it felt like a Choice to make the love interest a "hunky Israeli soldier" without including any discussion or critique of that. It's relevant but not necessary to the plot, and while we’re at it, neither is the main character's fatphobia.

Housemates by Emma Copley Eisenberg

Bernie, a budding photographer from rural Pennsylvania, responds to an ad to live in a queer group house. As she adjusts to the dynamics of the house, she discovers that her former photography professor left her his estate, and she sets out on a road trip to collect with one of the roommates, Leah. Their relationship turns from undefinable friendship to undefinable love affair and launches them both into their futures, both personally and professionally.

Housemates’ time period took me out of the story, unfortunately. In the thick of the pandemic and a suddenly increased awareness of social issues, we were all feeling the same things, but alone, so we sometimes thought we were feeling those things alone. So, even the most beautiful writing risks losing itself when trying to say something new or different about a moment in time that has already been captured so precisely by so many others. It can come across a little too lawn-sign liberalism-y to me, which is to say that they are ultimately saying the correct things, so I cannot fault them for it, but the delivery can feel grating.

I loved that this book was so queer and so lesbian, but I went in with rather high expectations and felt a bit let down. I know this book has resonated with a lot of folks, and it is very possibly just a me problem.

Great Big Beautiful Life by Emily Henry

Happy Emily Henry season. I buy and immediately read everything this woman writes because I cannot commit to romance authors otherwise, so it honestly didn’t matter to me what this book was about.

I have seen many complaints that there wasn’t enough romance, there was too much of the side story, etc. I didn’t really mind, though I see their points. I’m not a big romance reader these days, so it was nice to have a plot with some twists and turns to propel me through — but yes, the allegations that the premise is quite similar to The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo are true. This, too, features a woman hoping to write the biography of a once glamorous, now elusive aging celebrity. But you know what, that’s fine, I still had a good time reading this, and I enjoyed the departure from EmHen’s usual.

Little Eyes by Samanta Schweblin (trans. Megan McDowell)

I’d love to say, “can you actually imagine if we had cameras disguised as cute stuffed animals on wheels that were entirely remotely controlled by strangers who we know nothing about and cannot communicate with,” but the answer, unfortunately, is yes, and that’s the reason Little Eyes works so well. It is ridiculous, but it’s creepy and disturbing because it’s not that ridiculous. Humans have always been both terrible and too nice for their own good, with a spectrum in between, and we all have to exist together, somehow. And the system exploits us because we allow it, even eagerly welcome it into our homes.

This was somehow my first Samanta Schweblin, but if you have thoughts on which of her novels to prioritize, please send me a DM/comment/email!

what I watched

I was light on movies this month, but one of them was Sinners, which will probably be the best new release I watch this year, so it’s fine. Otherwise, I also watched The Wind Rises (2013) — a very “adult” feeling Ghibli — and a rewatch of Interstellar (2014) because lol I am who I am.

Shows-wise, I also finished The Potato Lab, a K-drama I’d started last month and found cute. The other K-drama I finished was My Liberation Notes, which I really loved but was kind of surprised I did.

In the non-K-drama camp, I watched quirky detective drama The Residence, which scratched a Knives Out itch, and then, like everyone else, The Pitt.

what I clicked on

From Antarctica with love — I enjoyed this story of the love between two Antarctic explorers in the 1910s. Starkly juxtaposed with a New York Times article this month joining the many others reminding us that no, we really shouldn’t travel to Antarctica¹.

What We Knew Without Knowing: Notes to John Gregory Dunne — I have a loooot of thoughts about posthumous publishing, and in particular something as intimate as journals or diaries, but if you’re curious about whether you should pick up the newly published book of her largely unedited journal entries, Notes to John, this New Yorker piece might give you a good glimpse into what to expect.

Is there too much pickle? — I had to wade into this debate to say: no. This is just the life cycle of anything normal that becomes beloved. At some point, we decide we’re tired of it, and then we need thinkpieces to let everyone know we’re tired of it. Eat the pickles, or don’t!

what I bought

Apparently, there are left-handed people in the world for whom their handedness does not feel like a complete detriment. Good for them! I, however, am very dramatic, and after a lifetime of frustration, have embarked on a mission to find the best pens for lefties.

Mainly they need to dry quickly enough that smudging is kept to a minimum, and more tricky, they need to be designed to flow smoothly at all angles (right-handed writers typically pull a pen across the paper, whereas left-handed people push). So, here are my top contenders thus far, and I will assume that these work for right-handed people as well because everything works for you people:

• uni-ball zento gel ink medium 0.7mm (the cutest of the bunch)

• sharpie s-gel 0.7mm

• muji gel ink ballpoint 0.5mm

• zebra sarasa dry x20 0.5mm

Also, the Sephora sale got me with two travel-size perfumes and a blush:

• DedCool’s mochi milk, a sweeter take on their skin fragrance milk (I also keep taunt in my rotation)

• Marc Jacobs’ newest addition to the daisy line, daisy wild, which was kind of a surprising choice for me, but I really like it

• Hauslabs lip + cheek stick thing (in glassy hibiscus): it’s not so pigmented that you panic while blending (looking at you, rare beauty), and it stays dewy, as the name glassy implies. I also recently switched to the Hauslabs foundation, so I guess I’m fully in on this brand now

I’m really trying to opt entirely out of overconsumption, but I was weak this month and it’s only right to publicly overshare so that I’ll feel shame forever.

Otherwise! What are you reading, what are you watching, etc. — I always want to chat with you about your months.

1. I have to remind myself of this regularly and am sad every time — I have literally always wanted to go to Antarctica, get my shit rocked by the Drake Passage, see a penguin, etc., but that dream must die!